Elevators are a nuisance especially if you are not a people person or are claustrophobic. But those who would normally not have an issue can also find themselves helpless when stuck in a lift with strangers. A simple ride from Point A to Point B can turn into a nightmare and these are the travelers who make it so.
- The latecomers
The moment the doors begin to close, the latecomer emerges. Running, panting and yelling to those already cramped inside to hold the door. I am no Hodor, buddy, so it’s best you take the next one.
- The door-holders
The lift is ready to move but you wouldn’t let it. The doors are vibrating to close but you hold them open as if your life depends on it. Why? Just so that you can chat with someone OUTSIDE the elevator? If you really must catch up, get off the damned elevator.
- The door-closers
At the other end of the spectrum is you – the door-closer. The one who will not open the door when I am RIGHT THERE. You will jump up inside your skin and press the close button. And pretend I didn’t see that. Well, I saw that, and I remember your face.
- The forever confused
Somehow, I always get caught in the crossfire between stupidity and panic. You enter the elevator that is going up. You realise – after the doors close – that you had to go down. Please press every button at your disposal and re-press them after I have stepped out.
- The musician
I find elevator music soothing especially when I’m running late. So, you can imagine my plight when Justin Beiber blares from your headphones at 10 in the morning. Don’t thrust your dance party in my face. Lower the volume and behave.
- The talkers
I am the silent one. I hate talking inside the elevator, even with my friends. But dear God, why must you not yell in my ear to get your friend’s attention standing two feet away from you? You have just made the commute awkward as hell so thanks.
- The shovers
The doors ‘ding!’ open and there you are, standing in all your towering glory, ready to pounce on us. Why nor stand in the space you see available? Why do you have to shove the poor lady to get to the back? Just so you can lean on the wall? How long do you plan on staying inside the elevator anyway?
- The squeezers
There are already 8 people inside the lift. There is literally no room for you to fit in. But the rebel in you always finds that squeeze, which makes the rest of us step on toes. And to make matters worse, you must breathe down my neck and position your hand so close to my bottom.
- The avoiders
I get it, the stairs are a real workout. But if you are just one floor away from the lobby, would it really kill you to take the stairs? Do your legs – and me – a favour and not make the elevator make that unnecessary stop.
- The pet owners
I love animals, especially dogs. But I don’t fancy their glares or barks in an enclosed space. Maybe next time, you can use the service elevator when out with them, or wait for an empty elevator to welcome you in. It’s not that hard to be polite to others’ convenience.
- The sneezers
I’m sorry you are unwell, but I really don’t want to fall sick with the germs you gifted me in the elevator. Covering your mouth is a start. Wearing a mask works too. Sneezing and coughing in my face is definitely not an option.
Elevators are a public space. It would do you well to learn some etiquette while using them. It all boils down to how nice you play.